Please send your suggestions to uswahili@aol.com

Wednesday, March 24, 2010

foleni za kwenda bafuni

We ni mswahili pale upangapo foleni za kwenda bafuni kuoga kwenye nyumba za kupanga. Wababa/Washkaji kusimama nje ya bafu wanasubiri utoke huku na miswaki yao mdomoni na hapo hapo wanajadili yanga, simba, arsenal, man etc ilivolala jana ilhali wengine hawana hata TV, kumbe walicheki kupitia dirisha, jirani, bar etc!

Monday, March 15, 2010

Chapati na Gazeti (2 in 1)

Makindi said...

We ni mswahili, pale uamkapo asbuhi na kumtuma dogo au kwenda mwenyewe kununua chapati ambazo unafungiwa kwenye gazeti. Unakula chapati zikiwa na wino mweusi wa gazeti, unashiba na kulala kwenye mkeka na lile gazeti (ulilofungiwa chapati) unaanza kulisoma tena.

Monday, March 8, 2010

omba omba noma!!

You know you are a Mswahili when you are afraid to help the beggars on the streets of Dar cos you fear you're gonna get paralyzed, start growing fur and get asked to kiss the beggar and disappear from your car instantly without a trace!!!

Sunday, January 31, 2010

Mobile phone identifier!

When you can tell the name of the manufacturer, model number and specifications (bluetooth, MP3/Polyphonic Ringtones, GPRS, Camera Megapixels) of any mobile phone by just hearing the ringtone.

Shelli

When you call every single petrol station "Shell" yet there isn't even a single shell petrol station in the country. eti, Kwani ulisema hiyo Shelli ni ya TOTAL au BP?

Am a star!!

When you get a little public attention and you think you are some super star wanna do each and everything. Football coach-Movie star, Mpoki, Masanja, Kanumba nk Musicians, Miss TZ wote movie stars. Konda wa daladala, mpiga debe wote Trafic police kwenye jam. In short unapenda kuuza sura!!

Movie Commentator

When you are watching a movie with others and you are explaining and commenting on every single scene in the movie to the others as if they can not see and hear themselves.

Thursday, January 28, 2010

Habari ndo hiyo, no comment!!


First come, first served / do you know who I am?

When you spend too much time at the counter/booth/ATM or when you don't understand the concept of first come first served, you jump the queue/foleni and when someone asks you to go back you start asking, eti, "hivi unanifahamu mimi nani?", "do you know who I am?"

Shosti! naomba moto!!

When unaona uvivu kununua boksi ya kibiriti ya kuwashia moto kwenye jiko la mkaa, alafu kila siku unamgongea hodi jirani yako asubuhi eti "shosti! naomba moto?" Wengine eti naomba chumvi, nyanya, vitunguu, dah, kama vile amefika supa maketi!!!